Few breakups are easy. In addition to the flood of unpleasant emotions, pain or sadness, various „needs“ that may overwhelm you also need to be resolved. That is, if you really want to break away from your ex-partner permanently and definitively and go your own way in life.
Breakups are painful. Even when it’s over and you’re alone, you still have images of the two of you in your mind, wondering what the other person is doing, if they’re as devastated as you are, or if they’ve moved on, etc. It’s the time after a breakup that’s the hardest for some decision. Psychologist Cortney Warren advises to stick to a few steps and definitely not do some things that we tend to slip into.
Do not try to contact your ex-partner
After a breakup, especially if it’s unexpected, it can be hard to ignore all the „needs“ to reach out to him or her.
“Maybe you want answers, maybe you just want to pour out your heart about how your partner hurt you, maybe just being around them because it helps to numb the pain you’re feeling for a while. But that won’t make healing after a breakup much easier,“ the expert tells Psychology Today. Therefore, he advises to cut off all contact for the time being.
Do not search for information about your former counterpart
Another common step after a breakup is that some people try to at least regularly monitor what their ex-partners are doing on social media. How are they doing, who are they with and so on.
But even this step is not the right one if you really want to get out of the breakup. Even more so if the person in question has already moved on – you will only be hurting yourself by following his new life.
Forget about having sex with your ex and maybe even with someone else
“Sex is a very complicated topic when it comes to breakups. If you are in love with someone, sex is associated with the emotion you feel for someone. But there are also many people for whom sex is just sex. And for you, there is nothing wrong with enjoying it here and there with your former counterpart, or with someone else, without obligations, even after the breakup. But even that can make the whole healing process more difficult if you really want to move on,“ explains Warren.
